It’s Masters Week – a tournament loved by all golfers in the northern hemisphere as it signals the start of warm and dry golfing weather!
I’ve put together a list of 8 great funny Masters quotes from some famous and some not so famous pro golfers.

My favourite is #6 from Chi Chi Rodriguez, he sounds like he plays golf in the same manner as me!

8 Funny Masters Quotes

1. Gary Player

“If there’s a golf course in heaven, I hope it’s like Augusta. I just don’t want an early tee time.”

Gary Player funny Masters quote

Gary Player has won the Masters three times, in 1961, 1974 and 1978. That 17 year split between first and last victory is probably a record, but I can’t confirm that.

2. John Daly

“I’ve heard the winner of the Masters hosts the dinner. If I ever won it, there would be no suits, no ties and McDonalds.”

John Daly funny Masters quote

John Daly no longer plays in the Masters, he is more likely to be found outside the front gates selling Loudmouth trousers and other JD branded golf gear.

3. David Duval

“Finishing second at the Masters was like getting kicked in the head.”

David Duval funny Masters quote

David Duval should know what he is talking about, he came second in 1998 and 2001. But the pain of doing it a second time will have been eased as he went on to win the greatest golf tournament in the world, The Open, in 2001.

4. Fuzzy Zoeller

“I’ve never been to heaven, and thinking back on my life, I probably won’t get a chance to go. I guess winning the Masters is as close as I’m going to get.”

Fuzzy Zoeller Masters quote

Fuzzy Zoeller won the Masters in 1979 at his first attempt, which puts him in a group of just three players to have achieved that feat.

5. Ben Hogan

“Then last year’s champion serves as the host. He chooses the menu and picks up the tab. When I discovered the cost of dinner was more than the prize money, I finished second four times.”

Ben Hogan funny Masters quote

Ben Hogan actually won the Masters twice, in 1951 and 1953.

6. Chi Chi Rodriguez

“The first time I played in the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.”

Chi Chi Rodriguez funny Masters quote

Rodriguez used to place that hat over the hole whenever he shot a birdie or eagle – until other tour pros complained!

7. Tom Weiskopf

“If I knew what was going through Jack Nicklaus’ head, I would have won the Masters.”

Tom Weiskopf Masters quote

Tom Weiskopf actually came second to Jack Nicklaus at the Masters twice, in 1972 and 1975 – I wonder which of those two he was referring to?

8. Gary McCord

“They don’t cut the greens here at Augusta. they use bikini wax.”

Gary McCord funny Masters quote

Gary McCord played in over 400 PGA tour events, but never the Masters. He made this quote whilst commentating for CBS. Sadly the Augusta National Golf Club disliked his remarks so much that they succeeded in having him removed from the commentary team!

I hope you liked this list of funny Masters quotes. I would love to know if you have a favourite. Just drop me a note via the Contact form.

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